Apologies

Paul Bishop

MA, LPC, LPC/S

5/4/2026

Some of us may apologize too quickly and take responsibility for things that are our fault. This is common among those who are uncomfortable with tension or conflict and want a quick resolution. For others, apologies come hard and may be rare, if given at all.

One reason people don’t apologize is insecurity. Saying they were wrong feels too vulnerable. Maybe if they don’t examine their actions too deeply or find fault in themselves, they will feel better about their already low self-esteem.

Another common problem for people who cannot apologize is fear. An apology would be tantamount to an acknowledgment of guilt. Now, someone can use that acknowledgment to criticize and discredit the person apologizing. It may feel like handing over a weapon that can be utilized as a reminder of fault. This fear may be directed at a critical person in their life or stem from past experiences. Either way, apologies don’t feel safe.

While insecurity and fear may be present for some, there is also the human condition of pride. Not wanting to look weak or to appear right and better than another person can drive a response that refuses to apologize.

Without heartfelt apologies for the hurt we cause to those we love, relationships suffer, and resentment lingers. Recognizing what keeps you and others from those apologies can bring understanding and courage to heal.